Sunday, May 5, 2019

JUST WHAT IS SELF ESTEEM?




Self-esteem is one of those trendy catchwords that dance around in our vocabulary.  We speak of high self-esteem, low self-esteem and building self-esteem.

Yet for all the self-help books on the market, and titles are added to this category every day, self-esteem remains an elusive concept.  What exactly is it?  Why does it matter?  How do we get it?

Self-esteem is the value we put on ourselves.  

Part of that value involves living our lives according to that value.  High self-esteem is viewing ourselves as we do the people we admire and love.  Precious and deserving of the best.  It means, at least sometimes, putting ourselves first.

Some of us are not easy with that perception because putting ourselves first seems to infer that we're being selfish.  We like to think we're above thinking of "self" to the detriment of others, and yet we do need to respect our own wants and needs.  Otherwise how are we to respect the needs and wants of others?  When we begrudge ourselves time, solitude, space, leisure or pleasure, we'll tend to be like that with others.  If we deprive ourselves then we'll deprive others.  And what's wrong with recharging our own batteries every now and again which will enable us to continue giving to others?

But we dare not assume that high esteem is something once attained, will be ours to call upon in all situations and circumstances.  As with any other personal trait or characteristic, it can fluctuate, depending on a lot of things.  The important thing however is to realise it can go up and down according our moods and to things that happen around us, and not to give in to believing that a glitch means we've lost our self-esteem.  It will merely be misplaced for a little while waiting for yhou to rediscover it.  It will never be lost.  

SO WHERE DO YOU STAND?

Let's start at the beginning.  And that is, ost certainly, the best place to start.

Just where do you stand at the mmoent, as far as self-esteem is concerned?  Do you have high self-esteem, low self-esteem or a lack of self-esteem?  Don't waste time in explaining or excusing yourself if you lack self-esteem, because that's not the purpose this project.  If you're at this starting point, then you want to go forward, Not sit where you are at present.  The same applies to those who may have low self-esteem; it's a matter of wanting to improve your feelings and acceptance of self, not to dwell on any negative feelings that you may have at the present time.  

If you have a healthy and high self-esteem, then congratulations - you've stepped over the bridge of discontentment and uncertainty and are busy striving forward in directions that you personally choose and following dreams that you are determined will bring you satisfaction.

Keep tuned for a continuation of this Post on Self-Esteem.